What is the Meaning of Self-Love? (A Challenge)

February is known for three things (maybe more)

• Being the shortest month of the year
• Black history month in the US
• Valentine’s Day

The last one always gets a lot of commotion and sometimes lousy press. As the years have gone by, Valentine’s day’s marketing and promotional materials have been released earlier and earlier into the new year, so much so it often feels like you’re drowning in it. The day is for couples, and the messaging has remained like this for a long time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I love Valentine’s Day! I love to love, and I can be cheesy as hell. Views on Valentine’s day varies across the board; for some, it may be one of the worst days of the year, and for others, it doesn’t bother them.

Defining self-love

Self-love has always been a fascinating subject with an extensive range of opinions. When we go back to what it means in the dictionary, it states, “regard for one’s well-being and happiness.” Sounds easy enough, right? However, for various reasons, it can be challenging for some people, myself included.

There is a common saying that says, “if you don’t love yourself, nobody else will”. This quote has often been a driving force for many to get everything perfect before inviting love to themselves. For a long time, I truly believed it was the only way. To the point that I felt that if I weren’t fully put together, in absolute love with myself, I wouldn’t find true love. The belief that you need to be complete to see or experience love is lies. Everyone’s journey and the story is different; some do, and some do not, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The truth is that loving yourself does not need to be done in isolation; we are driven by human connection and need each other to thrive truly.

Does self-love mean being selfish? No. Does it mean you can’t love anyone else? No, it gives you room to love others (you can’t pour from an empty cup). There are so many layers to unravel this thing, and I’m looking forward to exploring it more over the next 14 days!

Love comes in a variety of shapes and forms, and they’re all worth discovering! You don’t need a romantic partner to have a love-filled Valentine’s Day. We all need to cultivate self-love, especially on Valentine’s Day. Our partner can be the only person who truly understands and loves us for many. However, self-love is just as important and can come in various forms.

The challenge

This year I thought it would be great to reframe the lead-up to Valentine’s Day by prioritising and reminding myself of the importance of self-love, and I wanted to share this opportunity with you. We’ve all lost the last two years or so to the pandemic, with several losing their lives. I’m sure I’m not the only one who can attest that it sometimes feels like you’re just getting by most days, a spectator in your own life. So what better way to kick off the new month with a vigorous reset focused on you, finding what you love, doing what you love, and loving yourself.

I’m not making any promises that this will be the answer to all your problems, but I hope it’ll get you thinking and moving in the right direction. I’d also like to end the two weeks with a bit of a giveaway. So stay peeled for the details on how you can enter and win a prize by following me on Instagram!

I also have to add that self-love goes beyond emotion; it is linked with so many things such as mental health, self-esteem, self-talk and self-care. To love yourself means that you do not wallow in the shame that comes from making a mistake. It means that you accept that you have flaws and weaknesses and realise that this does not make you any less. It makes you human.

A great starting point for this self-love journey is compassion. We’re often quick to display kindness to those around us, bending over to make others happy or meet their needs. What if, in addition to that, you began being kinder to yourself, mirroring the same kindness and mindfulness you so graciously show to others. Doing this challenge will mean you need to put aside some alone time to dig deep and discover your own needs.

Day 1:

To kick off the next 14 days, I’d love to start with a simple question: What does self-love look like to you?

How you answer this question is entirely up to you, you can journal or even record a voice note. The most important thing here is that you look deep within yourself to find YOUR definition, not Instagram’s or your best friends, just yours.

Until next time

Koko